


Life, Death, and Sinatra

by BardofHeartDive



Series: Whiskey Eyes and a Blue Soul [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thane finds a Brother at Huerta Memorial Hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life

**Author's Note:**

> The initial inspiration for this piece was "Beyond the Sea." I thought it was such a perfect song for Thane that drove me crazy that I couldn't figure out how to tie the two together. That resolved itself when I read Farashe's "Thane meets Kaidan at Huerta Memorial" and this is what came of it. As always, questions, comments, and constructive criticisms are invited!
> 
> Special thanks to my beta, Black Betty.

Thane always had trouble sleeping in hospitals.

He wasn’t sure exactly what kept him awake. It wasn’t the new environment; he was used to sleeping in strange places and it lasted no matter how long he stayed. It wasn’t the noise either; he had once slept through a riot hidden in an air vent.

There was just something about hospitals.

Tonight, he had actually managed to doze for about two hours. He briefly considered lying there, counting his heartbeats as he had many nights before, but discarded the idea. More than awake, he felt restless. He needed to get out of the bed and out of the room for a while.

He pulled on a hospital gown, wearing it like a robe over his pants, and stepped barefoot into the hall. He would make a few rounds of the building, then see if he couldn’t fall back asleep for a while longer.

He didn’t hear the music until the doors opened to the lobby.

“The way your smile just beams. The way you sing off-key. The way you haunt my dreams. No, no - they can’t take that away from me.”

It didn’t take long to find the source of the sound. A human was sitting at the window behind at the reception desk, looking out at the Presidium. He was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, unconsciously tapping a finger to the beat of the song. Near the base of his skull, barely visible under his dark hair, Thane could make out an amp port for a human biotic implant. Alliance, he guessed, but not back to condition for duty yet. He hadn’t looked up when the doors opened and still had not noticed Thane.

He intentionally cleared his throat and said, “Good evening.”

The man startled and looked up at him. His entire face was badly bruised but his eyes, which were a dark honey-brown, were clear and sharp.

“Hi,” he said. “Sorry. Was the music bothering you?”

“No, no. I was already awake.”

The song changed and after a few notes the man let out a short, hard laugh.

“‘Strangers in the Night,’” he said quietly, as if he had forgotten Thane was there at all. It crossed Thane’s mind that whatever had injured his face might have affected his memory but then he added, clearly directed at him, “It’s actually a love song but, well, the name applies.” He extended his hand. “Kaidan Alenko.”

The name gave Thane a moment of pause. It was familiar, though he couldn’t remember where he had heard it. That bothered him. Even with the bruising, he was fairly certain he’d never met the man. He didn’t recognize his voice either. But he was sure he had heard the name before, even if it was once in passing.

Regardless, this Kaidan Alenko seemed content to act as though they had never met and Thane was willing to play along.

“Tannor Nuara.” He shook the offered hand, then was utterly surprised to hear himself say, “May I join you?”

Kaidan nodded to one of the empty chairs and Thane took a seat.

For a long time, they just sat, observing the Presidium, together but apart. Neither spoke. The music filled the space between them. It was always the same singer, a man with an expressive, almost conversational voice but the styles varied from smooth and romantic to rhythmic and brassy. There was one about a town called Chicago and another about a “valentine,” whatever that was, and many, many about love.

A melancholy string introduction signalled the start of another song, answered by an instrument Thane didn’t recognize, some kind of reed maybe. A harp joined them, then the vocals began, asking “Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair?” After a few more lines, he began mournfully requesting . . . that couldn’t be right. Thane must have misheard.

“It’s not actually about clowns,” Kaidan said, as if reading his thoughts. “Well, not circus clowns. He means fools. It’s a theatre reference to when the performance is going so badly that they send someone out to distract the audience with jokes.” He looked at Thane then shrugged an apology. “That’s probably more than you cared to know.”

To the man's surprise, Thane simply answered, “Fitting for the times.”

“Yeah.”

“You were wounded in action?” Thane asked.

Kaidan hesitated and Thane expected his answer would include the word “classified.” Instead he nodded, saying vaguely, “When the Reapers took Sol.”

“I had a friend on Earth,” Thane said. “We . . . had not spoken in some time.”

“My family’s there. I haven’t heard from them either.” With a sudden burst of anger, the human stood and stalked to the window. His voice was quiet and controlled but Thane could hear the bitter rage beneath it. “I’m a soldier. A major with the Systems Alliance Navy. And now, when I’m needed most, I’m stuck here.”

“It is the most necessary battles that are hardest not to be part of.”

The major turned at Thane’s words and regarded him with more than a little curiosity. He was considering asking some question but then he thought better of it and turned back toward the window. Thane wondered if it was not to keep himself from questioning the drell but to keep the drell from answering him.

“The worst part is knowing that you’re not in the condition to help and, until you are, the best thing you can do is wait. But every moment you wait you know they’re out there without you.” His whisper was barely audible and Thane wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear him add, “She’s out there without me.”

His words were few but the tension in his shoulders, the tone in his voice, said more than mere words ever could. This man loved a Siha and that fact alone made them Brothers. When the Defending Mother sent you a Siha, you were a fool not to follow her. When She sent you a Brother, you were a fool not to know him and be known.

“My wife died many years ago,” he said. “I did not live until I met her and when she passed, the life I had lost all meaning. I sought refuge in my own death but when I came to what I thought would be my end, I found instead a new purpose. A fight she would have found worthy. And I felt once again that she was with me.”

He had never admitted that to anyone, not even Shepard. In all their talks, he had never told her how he saw his Irikah in her and how that had saved him even in the face of suicide. Shepard would never know how grateful he was to her but this man would.

“My health now keeps me from that fight but still I feel her with me,” Thane continued. He waited until the major turned to look at him. Their eyes met and he felt their souls recognize each other. “You are here to live, as I am here to die.”

The anger drained from the human’s body as he understood the meaning of the words. He nodded once slowly, then returned to his seat.

The amicable silence returned and music surrounded them once again. The singer encouraged them to “Face the Music and Dance,” then started a ballad about living his life his way. Then came list of foolish things and all the reasons love was better the second time around. The lights were starting to brighten on the Presidium when a song began that was sung by the same voice but in a different language.

“‘The sea,’” Kaidan translated. “This version is in French. Let me see . . . Here.”

The same music started but this time Thane could understand the words.

“Somewhere, beyond the sea. Somewhere, waiting for me. My lover stands on golden sands and watches the ships that go sailing.”

_Irikah._

Tears burned in Thane’s eyes but there was no shame in crying before his Brother.

“We cannot join them yet,” Thane said. “But the time will come.”


	2. Death

Kaidan felt a little awkward being at the memorial. He’d never met the man, after all.

Really, he was there for Shepard. No . . . “Shepard” was his commanding officer. He was here for Ariella, the woman he loved. She hadn’t asked - it wasn’t the kind of thing she would ask - but it didn’t matter. Whether she needed him or not, he was going to be there for her.

He found an unobtrusive place near the back of the room and did his best to get comfortable. He didn’t want to disturb the service by fidgeting through it. Ariella was moving to the front of the room, signaling the start.

“We are gathered here to honor the life of Thane Krios,” she began. “Thane touched each of our lives in different ways.”

Though her voice was steady, he caught the tension at the corners of her mouth. It was so subtle he doubted anyone else would notice. He shifted once and her eyes were immediately drawn to the movement. They locked with his and the strain dissipated, then they moved on to survey the other attendees. There wasn’t the slightest hint of pause as she continued.

“The councilor knew him as a hero. The Normandy’s crew knew him as a brother-in-arms . . . and others as a father devoted to his son.”

She didn’t look at him through the rest of her speech but he kept his eyes on her. She opened the floor to the other guests and gave reserved smiles and small nods while Tali, Garrus, Samara, Edi, and Joker spoke. He listened to their words and their voices and it became clear that this Thane had been a good man.

A strange gratitude formed in his chest. This man had stood with Shepard.

He was glad there had been good people with her.

Joker finished with an awkward “Kolyat, do you, uh . . .”

The drell who had been standing at the front of the room took a step forward. Ariella gave him the floor and he turned to face the crowd. Kaidan saw his face for the first time and involuntarily shook his head in confusion.

He knew the drell, though not by name. He had seen him frequently while he was at Huerta. He came to donate blood often and visited with Tannor in the lobby.

What were the chances . . .

Kaidan narrowed his eyes, straining to examine the picture on the piano. At this distance he couldn’t make out the details of the face but it was colored and patterned like the drell he had spoken to that night.

His mind worked it over and over. Based on what he’d heard, Thane probably had a history filled with enemies. It was not outlandish to think that he might have used an alias in the hospital. The first thing he’d noticed about the Tannor was the way he moved.  Fluidly. Precisely. Like a cross between a combat specialist and a dancer. He had surprised Kaidan the night they met. At the time he had chalked it up to the music and being deep in thought and his condition. Maybe he hadn’t given the drell enough of the credit.

“Now . . . I think maybe he did have it all figured out,” Kolyat concluded. “That’s all I can say. If anyone would like to continue, we’ll be here.”

As soon as the crowd started moving, Kaidan made his way to the front of the room. Ariella, Kolyat, and Commander Bailey were deep in conversation, so he made it to the piano undisturbed. It didn’t take more than a glance.

Tannor Nuara was actually Thane Krios.

He almost laughed. He had been intentionally vague about Shepard when they spoke, out of habit more than any other reason. And the fight the drell had found, almost certainly the attack on the Collector base. How different would their conversation have been if they had known who they were talking to. But then, by the end, he had known all that mattered about the man.

* * *

Ariella had been asleep for hours but Kaidan hadn’t been able to close his eyes. It usually didn’t bother him, just holding her while she slept, but tonight he couldn’t seem to relax.

It was the memorial, he decided. He hadn’t known “Thane” to mourn him. But he had known Tannor. In one brief conversation they had come to a mutual understanding that made it impossible not to know each other. Now, knowing he was gone, Kaidan could feel the loss.

He kissed her neck and whispered that he would be back soon. She made a questioning noise when he unwrapped himself from around her but returned immediately to sleep. He dressed in the dark so as not to disturb her then slipped silently downstairs. He put his shoes on at the door and locked the apartment behind him.

The strip was bright and noisy and he was glad it was a short walk to the rapid transit station. The shuttle took him to Presidium Commons, which was considerably calmer, and he made his way to the elevator. When he pressed the button for Huerta’s lobby, the pleasant voice of a VI informed him that the destination was locked for the next five hours until visiting hours resumed. If this was a medical emergency, he needed to enter through triage. He should speak to Avina if he required assistance.

He entered his Spectre code and the elevator slid into motion.

There were three nurses waiting when the doors opened. They all had precaution barriers activated on their hands and one was holding a crash-kit. They watched him questioningly as he stepped into the lobby in seemingly perfect condition.

“Spectre Alenko,” one said. “We were notified you were on your way up. Do you need medical attention?”

“No. I’m fine. I’m just here to -” Before he had to try to explain what he was doing there, all three of the nurses’ omni tools chimed. Kaidan smiled and repeated, “I’m fine.”

They took that for what it was and darted off in different directions. The one with the crash-kit threw a quick “Let us know if you need anything” over his shoulder as he disappeared through the door to the hall.

Even at the odd hour, there were quite a few people in the lobby, patients and staff. They must have run out of rooms because several cots had been set up in corners. Kaidan wondered what it was like during visiting hours. If everyone here had even one visitor, there would hardly be enough space to move. Then again, if most of them were soldiers or refugees, there might not be anyone left alive to visit them.

He shoved that thought aside and turned his attention to his original purpose.

All of the chairs behind the reception desk were empty. He sank into the nearest and activated his omni. It took him a while to find what he was looking for but, after a few minutes of searching, the music started. He sat silently in the chair until the song finished:

“I know beyond a doubt my heart will lead me there soon. We’ll meet beyond the shore. We’ll kiss just like before. Happy we’ll be beyond the sea and never again I’ll go sailing.”

**Author's Note:**

> The songs (in order of appearance): "They Can't Take That Away from Me," "Strangers in the Night," "Chicago," "My Funny Valentine," "Send in the Clowns," "Face the Music and Dance," "My Way," "These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)," "The Second Time Around," "La Mer"/"Beyond the Sea."


End file.
